Why won't my son tell me about his day?

How many times have you picked up your son after a long day at school excited to hear about all the interesting things he did in his day only to be told that his day was "fine" as he looks out the window and fiddles with his belt buckle? You know there is a whole day of information in his head, but he seems to just be waiting until he can get home and go play outside. Why does this happen and what can you do about it?

I promise you, it's not because he doesn't want to tell you about his day. He just doesn't remember. Boys have a tendency to think about one thing at a time. In the car, he's probably thinking about what he is going to play with when he gets home, which is blocking is memories of the hours prior. Boys need specific prompts to trigger the memories from earlier in the day.

The challenge as the parent is knowing which prompts. If you don't know what happened in their day how do you know which specific questions to ask?

Here are some general "specific" prompts that might help you get started. Then, as they respond, listen for things that help prompt you to ask more specific questions.

• What would you rate your day on a scale of 1 to 10?

• What was the funniest thing that happened today?

• What was one kind thing that you did today?

• Who did you play with at recess?

• Did you try anything new today?

• What's one thing you would like to do again?

• Did anyone in the class break any rules today?

Now you are on the path of getting your son to open up! I know it can be frustrating, but give him a chance - his brain truly works differently.